for him

eyelids crash; I see your face

an ethereal picturesque

that arresting gaze

that stupid mystique

boy, oh boy

just how perfect you are

you smile; all the planets align

it’s all over

my heart is fucking red

the entire universe has stopped

it’s just you and I,

stop knocking my world

off it’s axis, oh dear

this beautiful sting

oh how these dimples deepen

at the corner of your mouth

the curve of your lips

rewrite my sanity

pure bliss, fathomless

like dust in sun rays

everything has slowed down

how wild of me to let it be

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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losin’ it

Something is wrong with me but I just can’t point it out. I’m thinking too much, there’s so much inside my head accelerating with supersonic speed I can’t process anything. All I make out is senselessness. One moment I’m quite alright and the other I lose my shit. It feels as if I’m trying so hard but no one realizes it, no one understands. I’m so tired of myself, of feeling this way. Everything feels so pointless. I can’t even write like I could, I’m only losing more of me. ughlarge

Hopeless Sinner-

Atta ul Kibria.

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As the water pattered down the white ceramic
She stood there, naked
Wearing an invisible cloak of sins

Her hair drenched
Water running down her bruised body
That warmth used to heal
But now it suffocated her
Those showers felt like arrows piercing her soul

With every long and hollow breath
Her soul peaked out of her eyes
Crying to be free
As the crimson swirled down the drain with clear water
Her eyes refused to shut on grey

Just the pattering of water
No cry, no sigh
Washing the anxieties off a piece of meat

By
Atta ul Kibria

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..

All my head ever tells me is to run about along a path I have no idea about. Senseless, pointless existence brimming at the edges of a life not wanted to be lived. Intense, weak moments blaring inside my head. Is running an escape? because my head keeps telling me to do so but if I run, where do I go? What do I even run from? Myself? It’s pointless, like all the other thousands of futile thoughts inside my head. Not a single thing makes sense, all of it just makes me sick. I need help but who do I reach out to? Nobody wants to hear the whining of a cry baby, I know it. I have always known that, why is everything so much like a burden. I can’t do this anymore, why can’t anyone understand me? Every fiber of my being is tired, I’m tired. Help, I need help.

.

I run round this smooth aisle

strength all withered beneath

head in my shoulders,

sighing in unanimity

my soul is wilting

stress stemming in my breath

distant memories leaving me colder

bones crumbling in proximity

my head is throbbing

PS. I couldn’t write more, don’t know why

 

 

 

The harrassment

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Her little eyes stare at him

Through the mirror

Right into the eyes of a stranger

As his fingers slide past

Inside her

All the cries screaming within

Tears are all that comes out

She was only seven

yet already numb

I lose track of reality and I often get mad at myself. At times I just cry and sometimes I feel so tired that I can’t even cry. In all this madness that I try to keep myself sane through, every single thing I try to find peace in ends up destroying me the other way round. In all this catastrophe, why do I find solace in you? You’re all purple and it’s a happy color it scares me for I fear my blues would ruin your ethereal glow. I bleed in blue, green in burnt orange, I write in faded ink and scarlet blues. Purple stays so out of my reach, people like me do not deserve you.
I’m all damaged how can I do the same to you, my dear friend. You mean so much to me, I wanna let you in but all you’d ever find is chaos and ruin within every step. I myself, often falter in my own steps for I’m a coward and I’ve never really been strong. I can’t let you see all this that I’ve put myself through. So forgive me if I disappoint you, forgive me for I lost this battle long ago. I stand alone but still with hope for I find solace in you.